Final Script for Odd Couple

Int – Living room/kitchen

(Paragraph is narrated whilst Thomas Turner goes about his daily business)

Narrator

Thomas Turner is a slightly obsessive , wound up, widowed, mid 60 year old English fellow who enjoys having quite nights in front of the television watching the news and sports channels, he prefers comfortable clothes like jeans and a plain shirt with a small overcoat. He is quite a friendly fellow but not overly chatty, preferring to speak about daily news and finding out what is going on in his local area. He lives in a semi-detached house alone; he quite likes the privacy but still misses his wife who passed away a number of years ago in a fluke double lightning strike event. He takes pride in his minimalistic furnished home but is sometimes a little too much of an obsessive neat freak. He noticed this when one of his friends came around for a visit and strangely he couldn’t wait for them to leave so that he could wash their tea cup and plate that had biscuits on, put it back in place and then vacuum the whole room which he had been in. He is not fond of having dogs or cats in his house as they leave fur but can tolerate this; however he despises insects – once he had a minor ant infestation that he took care of with a can of gas, lighter fluid and a few matches. After setting fire to a small portion of his kitchen he still used an entire can of ant poison (which took the whole nights to slowly drip into the hole) to make sure the nest was eradicated (which unknowing to him missed the ant nest completely and went through a old pipe leading straight to his prize cabbage patch and destroying 80% of his crop) - you will be happy to know the ants escaped the initial inferno and poisoning then decided to move next door away from this half crazed fellow. Thomas Turner is his own worst enemy.

(Run time approx – 1 minute and 41 seconds)

After introduction

Scene 2 – int Living room

Thomas Turner sits in front of his television watching the latest sports news, he takes a kernel of popcorn and eats it. There is a faint scurrying noise coming from near his rug, he does not hear this the first time but the second wave of scurrying attracts his attention.

Thomas

Hmmm?

Thomas gets up and goes to the nearby light switch; he flicks it on and surveys the now lit area. Something is looking at him but he is unaware of it, he shrugs* his shoulders and goes into the kitchen. The thing (cockroach) that was looking at him follows.

Scene 3 – int kitchen:

Thomas Turner goes to his kettle* and switches* it on, he then bends down and gets a cup* out of his cupboard*(open/close) – as he is gets up he sees the cockroach on the counter holding a crumb, he instantly gets angry.

Thomas

Grrrrrrr!

Cockroach

(fright)(Squeaky) Aaaaaah!

The cockroach drops the crumb and jumps in surprise, it bolts for cover just as Thomas tries to squash it with his first, he misses. The creature bolts off the desk and into the living room, Thomas runs after it but slips on the well polished floor; he eventually gets to his feet and follows.

Scene 4 – int living room

Thomas bursts into the living room; he stops and surveys the area but cannot see the cockroach anywhere in sight. The cockroach is in front of a picture* (possibly childs drawing of him with his grandkids) mimicking one of the people in the picture, Thomas walks past and does not notice, just as he does the insect jumps off the table and scurries away, Thomas hears this and attacks.

Scene 5 Ext – House

You can see Thomas’s house and hear repeated smashing noises after a while a title fades in (20 minutes later) and you can still hear smashing; suddenly there is an explosion which blows out the windows.

Scene 6: int living room

Thomas is on the floor, his house is a wreck and the Cockroach is taunting him by blowing raspberries at him.

Cockroach

PFFFFFFFF!!

Thomas has a glass in his hand, he wants to throw it at the creature but is sure he will miss and gives up

Thomas

(Sighs)

He drops it but hits a small plank nearby which launches a piece of wood up to the top of the bookshelf which intern sends a book tumbling down on the cockroach and squashes it. Thomas is relieved and gets up, it’s all over and he is victorious. He looks around at his destroyed house sadly, he will have to start cleaning up soon. There is a rumble coming from a nearby air vent, he goes closer to inspect, the noise starts again... loads of cockroaches burst out of the air vent and cover poor Thomas as he screams

Thomas

Noooooooo!